40 days

School starts on Monday for me.  I had a MMC orientation this past Monday, can you say so much info at once my brain actually hurt...not a headache, but my brain hurt trying to retain all that knowledge given to me in 6 hours!  And now as I sit here typing, I am trying to remember some key points, and for the life of me BLANK?
OH WAIT...
I'm pretty sure if there is a fire, I will be able to call out CODE RED for everyone to hear!  Just to let you all know.

Now on to the real issue with me going back to school, I think that I am going to miss my kids, WHAT?  I know, right?  I will miss Cayden though, she is my favorite right now. Whatever don't judge me, I'm sure Taytum will be my favorite at one point too...  Cayden is just my little Angel, who listens to me and is constantly helping me clean the house.  How could you not LOVE her.  And Taytum, let's just say that she is a terrible 2, and I'm pretty sure she will be a horrible 3 as well.  God knows I  LOVE her, but we are not "friends" right now!  She likes me when it's convenient for her, and is mean to me the rest of the time.  I don't remember Cayden acting this way, but maybe she did?  I KNOW she wasn't this bad though!

So I will miss my kids on Monday, but I think this will be great for them being with their Dad more, and having a babysitter for part of the day.  As John says "It's 40 days of hell, for the both of us" I couldn't agree more with his statement! LOL  But in the end this will all pay off, literally!

I will post when I can.

And BTW... Cayden, as I was blogging, was rubbing my shoulders telling me how much she loves me! awhhh I heart her!  And now Taytum is yelling from upstairs "I'm up, come get me!"  awhh I heart her too??? hehehe

Hockey and back to school, what???

It's hockey season again. And that means I am a single parent (pretty much) for the next 5 months or so!  The only thing different about this year is that I am going back to school starting January 17th!  I'm crazy I know... 

Poor John will have to balance hockey and the girls for 11weeks (M-F 8-2pm).  For him it will be hell, for me a little piece of Heaven.  I can't wait to hear him say, "We NEED you, we can't do this without you, I never knew how hard it is..."  You get my drift, right?!  Although I can imagine he will be in a bad mood most days, GREAT! I feel bad for the hockey girls, he will probably skate them a lot, sorry!! (that means sprinting on skates for a LONG time for those of you who don't live in hockey world, like me)

Off to school I go.  I am actually doing the CNA program through Maine Medical Center.  The best part is, it's FREE! AND once I get hired they will give me $$$$ to go back to school to get my RN! Which is my goal, but to have it paid for, even better!

I love being a SAHM, but I'm not going to lie, it's getting old. I feel like I don't appreciate my kids, and what I mean by that is I never get a chance to MISS them! I am ALWAYS with at least one of them!  I will continue to stay home with them, scheduling my future classes around preschool, and such, but I can't wait to be around other adults!  And the $$$ part is also going to help us out.  We budget things now, but when I am and RN making lots of $$$ I can go out and buy whatever I want, yippeeeeee! ( for the most part)  I just won't feel so restricted, you know what I mean??

And I have to go, why you ask...??? Crying and coughing from short and blond, she's up from her 40 minute nap, my poor baby isn't feeling well! :(

I will keep you all updated on school, and everything else!

Emotional times

So for all of you who don't know, I have been trying to wean Taytum off the boob for about 6 months now.  I nursed Cayden until 18 months, and so I thought I would do the same for Taytum...she at 18 months was NOT ready!  So I let her take the lead... hoping that when she was in kindergarten that the teacher wouldn't mind me coming in for lunch....!

It slowed down a lot over the summer.  She stopped needing a naptime snack, but before bed it was still "nuurrsse" ( awh I miss her saying it already) On September 12th she took her last swig of the boob.  The next couple of nights she didn't ask to nurse, and I didn't offer it to her either.  We cuddled and I gave her a sippy of milk (from the moo cow). She seemed fine, 9 days down, and tonight before nun-nights...

She asked "nuurrsse" and Mommy said "No, all gone"  And she said NO, hit me and cried for 10 minutes.  She finally gave in, grabbed her sippy, rolled over and crashed!  How do I feel?  Fine I guess??

Honestly, it was a rough night for me.  I watched this new show Raising Hope, and it was supposed to be funny but it made me hysterically cry??? Why? The grandparents started singing to the baby to get her asleep because the Dad had been up all night with her, and all I could think of was the girls are growing up too fast.  I remember singing to them at night when they wouldn't sleep, I still sing to and with them.  Sleepless nights are all but gone and it really makes me sad.  Cuddly, chubby baby legs/bums/bellies/etc are all but gone.

I was most upset because I catch myself wishing that they were a little bit older a lot, so we could do this, or they wouldn't whine so much, or blah-blah-blah...WHY????????????   I know that there will be days in the near and far future that I will look at them like I did tonight and wish that we were all back to those CRAZY sleepless nights, singing-rocking-nursing-cuddling.  I miss my babies, but love the little girls they are turning into. (My throat is tight as I am typing this, I'm holding back the tears!)

And I am starting birth control pills Sunday, for the 1st time in like 8 years, we had a little "scare" this month, but phew Aunt Flo is here! (maybe the emotional part is because Aunt Flo is visiting, she wears me down,lol??)  

From this entry you would think I want another baby, but I really LOVE the two daughters I have. And we are 100% not ready for another baby financially(us), emotionally(me), and physically( me,I have been prego or nursing since Jan of 06')  Who knows what the future holds, but John and I will love each other and our baby girls forever!

School Days

Cayden's first day of preschool went a little like this:

1. She did NOT want pictures taken.  BUT I did get a few, hehehehe!
2. We pull into the parking lot and she informs John and I that she wants to go by herself, and that she does NOT want us going in with her. UMMMM ok???
3. We are the 1st people there, and she is so excited she forgets that we follow her inside, YES!
4. We meet Miss Mary and Miss Deidre, and she is not shy at all!
5. Off to the cubby room to put her picture on her cubby and see where she hangs her coat and backpack! She is too excited!
6. Playtime, and she is off playing! John and I watch and feel so proud she isn't clinging to us for dear life!
7. Circle Time with friends, she sits by Miss Deidre all by herself!  She listens to everyone, and even told the class her name, which I thought she would definitely clam up!
8. Scavenger Hunt, we helped her with that! Silly Bands for a prize, yay!
9. Story Time!  She listened to the story, and when the teachers asked questions she answered all of them!  John and I stood and watched her, and we were so proud of her! 
10. Snack Time.  Bananas, thank goodness because that is the ONLY fruit Cayden will eat!
11. Everyone went outside after that to play on the playground!

So John and I are super happy with the school we chose for Cayden.  She loves it, and the program is wonderful.  If you are looking for a preschool in the future Gorham Cooperative Preschool is fabulous!

We are looking forward to her going by herself, and watching her grow this year!

AND ballet with Mirs. Betsy starts today! We are so excited to see our dance friends!!!

crazy

Do you ever have those dreams where you have no idea what's going one when you wake up?

I really feel like these dreams started when I got pregnant with Cayden.  Ok I admit anything weird, or not-so-normal started while I was pregnant with her.  LIKE I forget so much. I mean like I will have my keys in my hand, then place them somewhere, and 5 minutes later go searching for my keys that I put RIGHT here??? That is what my life is like everyday, searching for things, like my cell phone, and it's right in front of me. (JOHN call my cell phone I can't find it)!!  This blog came to mind after my crazy dream and a conversation with my BFF yesterday about her searching for her cell phone while she was on it talking to me...NOW that's bad Leigh, LOL!

Back to my dream, oh wait I can't remember my f-ing dream, (must be from my post-pregnancy brain) All I can remember is that.... Damn it's gone....!

Does this happen to you???

Big girl

My baby is getting older, and it's causing me to have so many feelings...

We had our 1st time parents meeting last night, sounds scary doesn't it??!!  Actually it went great.  John stayed home with the girls and I went to the meeting, time away from the monsters is wonderful!

I am chairing the cleaning committee for the Co-op. What does that mean you ask??? I have no freaking clue...YET!! I hope it's not too time consuming, but because I am soooo nice and do want to help out where I can I volunteered to do this job!!

SUCKER is totally tattooed on my forehead, if you look hard enough you will see it!

Cayden starts at GCP on September 7th and is so excited. I am happy, but a little sad too(sniffle).  She will be going Tuesday's and Thursday's from 12-2:30pm. Now what are Taytum and I going to do? Nap, read books, watch Netflix or DVR'd show's??? Who knows but I am looking forward to some alone time with her, because going through Cayden's baby book revealed that she was WAY smarter at 2 then Taytum is. I know. I know no comparing, but it is totally my fault.  Cayden got all of my attention for 2 years, and poor Taytum well you know the rest!  BAD MOMMY!

We also have switched Cayden to a booster seat, gosh she is getting so big! She is a little girl now, not a baby or a toddler, but a little girl!  I love it and hate it at the same time!  She is so "grown up", some of the things she says is too funny!
 
Enjoy every moment with your child everyday, because they really do grow up in the blink of any eye!

Relieved

I'm sticky-sweaty-stinky HOT, and who wants to sit on my lap or have me hold her all day?  I heart Miss Taytum but, man!  But I as type this she is sitting on my lap sweaty-sticky with peanut butter all over her face laughing at me because I told her to stop biting the desk?

So today I gave my sister-in-law my maternity clothes. How am I feeling?

a. Sad
b. Happy
c. Settled
d. Relieved

My answer is all of the above with a strong connection to D!  It's like a realization that Cayden and Taytum will be my only two children, and I am happy with that.  I know they are only clothes, and we all now clothes can be replaced/returned but I feel like it has lifted a big weight off my shoulders.

I guess only time will tell if another Lauziere will make an entrance through my cervix(hehe) but for now I am 99% sure we are done! We'll see what the big man upstairs has planned for us though...