Wednesday, September 22, 2010
So for all of you who don't know, I have been trying to wean Taytum off the boob for about 6 months now. I nursed Cayden until 18 months, and so I thought I would do the same for Taytum...she at 18 months was NOT ready! So I let her take the lead... hoping that when she was in kindergarten that the teacher wouldn't mind me coming in for lunch....!
It slowed down a lot over the summer. She stopped needing a naptime snack, but before bed it was still "nuurrsse" ( awh I miss her saying it already) On September 12th she took her last swig of the boob. The next couple of nights she didn't ask to nurse, and I didn't offer it to her either. We cuddled and I gave her a sippy of milk (from the moo cow). She seemed fine, 9 days down, and tonight before nun-nights...
She asked "nuurrsse" and Mommy said "No, all gone" And she said NO, hit me and cried for 10 minutes. She finally gave in, grabbed her sippy, rolled over and crashed! How do I feel? Fine I guess??
Honestly, it was a rough night for me. I watched this new show Raising Hope, and it was supposed to be funny but it made me hysterically cry??? Why? The grandparents started singing to the baby to get her asleep because the Dad had been up all night with her, and all I could think of was the girls are growing up too fast. I remember singing to them at night when they wouldn't sleep, I still sing to and with them. Sleepless nights are all but gone and it really makes me sad. Cuddly, chubby baby legs/bums/bellies/etc are all but gone.
I was most upset because I catch myself wishing that they were a little bit older a lot, so we could do this, or they wouldn't whine so much, or blah-blah-blah...WHY???????????? I know that there will be days in the near and far future that I will look at them like I did tonight and wish that we were all back to those CRAZY sleepless nights, singing-rocking-nursing-cuddling. I miss my babies, but love the little girls they are turning into. (My throat is tight as I am typing this, I'm holding back the tears!)
And I am starting birth control pills Sunday, for the 1st time in like 8 years, we had a little "scare" this month, but phew Aunt Flo is here! (maybe the emotional part is because Aunt Flo is visiting, she wears me down,lol??)
From this entry you would think I want another baby, but I really LOVE the two daughters I have. And we are 100% not ready for another baby financially(us), emotionally(me), and physically( me,I have been prego or nursing since Jan of 06') Who knows what the future holds, but John and I will love each other and our baby girls forever!